Turn the Other Cheek

As a good, Midwestern girl, I’m not supposed to do anything too big, flashy or revealing. We Scandinavians are a quiet, subtle people— have you ever heard of “Minnesota nice” or Garrison Keillor? I like to think that my world is a bit bigger and perhaps a little more sophisticated than the stereotype suggests but, as the saying goes, “Old habits die hard.”

It is not by coincidence that the private, conservative Scandinavians live in the North whereas the more flashy, revealing Italians, for example, live in the South. The Scandinavians cover their skin because it is cold— the Italians do not because it is hot. It is survival of the fittest, not rocket science. The interesting part, though, is that it seems to be as tangible as it is psychological. The Scandinavians also cover up many other aspects of their lives whereas the Latin cultures seem to be much more comfortable revealing theirs.

As with most stereotypes, this one is most amusing at the extremes. It is 97 degrees in France today and the beach is packed.

Being the good Midwestern girl that I am, I dutifully put my bikini away at 25 and resolved myself to the standard black one piece. However, I knew very well that summertime in France was going to require something a little more... interesting, so I ventured out of my shell and bought a new 2-piece. As I stood in my room looking at my two swimsuits- the cool, conservative one-piece or the green string bikini, I had to make a decision. My instinct, of course, was to go for the 1 piece— this twice-pregnant body hadn’t seen a 2 piece in quite some time. Yet, I’ve been trying new things in France and, hey, if I didn’t do it now, when would I? I quickly put the bikini on before I could change my mind and made my way to the beach.

When I got there, I was happy with my decision. Less than 1 percent of the women had 1-piece swimsuits. In addition, nearly a quarter of the women were topless. I was far from flashy—in fact, I blended in (every Scandinavian’s dream!).

Looking back, it seems a bit ironic that I thought anyone would care. Was it egocentric to assume that someone would actually notice me? Probably. Did I think the French women would all look better than me? Of course I did. (Though I have to say not all the women were a "perfect," curveless size 2 and many of them actually had stretch marks themselves.) Besides, even if they did notice, I could just put on my best “Minnesota nice” smile and turn the other cheek— so to speak, of course.

PS- No, there will be no photo accompanying this article. Ever. I'm still Scandinavian, after all. :)